 A part of the forthcoming book, The Septic's Companion. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V WY Z   These are the last three beers people kinder than you bought me. Click on them to see more or buy me one. Feel guilty? Think of the children I might have, and such like. |
waffle n, v banal or rambling conversation. You might describe your CEO's yearly speech to the employees as nothing more than "waffle", and likewise you could accuse him of "waffling". Brits do describe those cross-hatched baked batter things as "waffles", but they don't really eat them all that much. waistcoat n vest. An odd sort of article of clothing worn over your shirt but under your jacket, often with a bow-tie. In the UK, vest means something else, as usual. wally n dimwit; dunce. In a friendly sort of a way. You'd never leap out of your car after someone's smashed into the back of it and shout "you complete wally!". wank v masturbate. wanker n one who masturbates. Quite a rude word in the UK - perhaps one notch worse than "fuckwit" on the international offensiveness scale I've just invented. Interesting, therefore, that Adam Clayton of U2 managed to get away with using it in a Simpsons episode and that Phil Collins managed to use it in his 1984 Miami Vice cameo. washing up n washing the dishes: "Let me help with the washing up!". waster n someone who just sits around watching television and spending their income support on dope. Presumably derived in some way from "time-waster". wazzack n idiot. When I originally put this on my web site I spelled it "wazzak". I received emails variously informing me that it was spelled "wazzock" or "wuzzock". I then received one from a chap who claimed to have invented the word in South Somerset when he was seven and that "wazzack" was in fact the correct spelling. And the I got one from a chap in Nottinghamshire claiming that he invented it and it was spelled "wassak". Why must society be like this? Why must we all lay claim to something? I put the two people in touch via email and they have subsequently fallen in love. WC n toilet. It's a currently-used acronym which stands for the not-so-currently used term "water closet". This term stems from a time early in toilet development when they were nothing more than a carefully waterproofed cupboard filled halfway up with seawater. Not to be confused with a WPC (Woman Police Constable). wean n Scot.child. Derived from the colloquial Scots "wee 'un" (little one). wee 1 adj Scot. small: "That's an awfully wee car - are you sure you'll all fit in it?". In a loose sense it could also be interpreted as meaning "cute" in the "cute and cuddly" sense. You could tell someone they had a "nice wee dog", but might meet with more curious glances if you used it in a more serious scenario e.g. "well, Mrs. Brown, I'm sad to tell you that you have a wee tumour on your cerebral cortex". 2 v urinate: "Back in a minute, I'm going to have a wee". wellies n Wellington boots. Look it up. It can't be far. wellingtons n rubber boots; galoshes. A contraction of the term "Wellington boots", which was the inventive name given to boots made popular by the Duke of Wellington. The further abbreviation "wellies" is also in common use. welly n Scot. stick; punch: "If you give it some welly you'll hit fifty through the corners!". Mostly related to driving automobiles and most commonly in the phrase "give it some welly", this is used to urge a bit more bravado on the accelerator pedal. This may or may not be related to the "wellington boot" definition. what's up? interj "what's wrong?". While this means something akin to "hello" in the US, Brits use it to mean "what's wrong with you?". whinge v whine: "Ah, quit whinging, for heaven's sake!". whinger someone particularly partial to whinging. whip round n passing the hat. A collection of money - usually a somewhat impromptu and informal one. You might have a whip round for Big Mike's bus-fare home but you probably wouldn't have one for his triple heart bypass. Unless you were using it as an attempt to bring a spot of humour to an otherwise morbid situation in the sort of way my wife doesn't like me trying to do. wholemeal flour n whole-wheat/whole-grain flour. I've no idea about food, I hope it's not apparent. I just type what people tell me like a big unpaid secretary. wicked adj cool; awesome: "Jim's got a wicked new car stereo". willie n penis. A rather childlike term. The film Free Willie attracted large optimistic female audiences when it was released in the UK. That could either mean audiences of large optimistic females, or large audiences of optimistic females. Either way it's a lie. Of perhaps more amusement to Brits was the 1985 American film "Goonies", which featured a group of children who found a secret pirate-ship commanded by a fearsome pirate named One-Eyed-Willie. windscreen 1 n windshield. 2 n one of those things that you put up on a beach that stops the sand from blowing in and stops those inside from noticing that the tide is coming in. wing n fender. The metal part of a car that covers the front wheel and joins onto the bonnet. Perhaps it derives from the time when cars were made which could fly. wizard adj cool; awesome: "Wow! That's wizard!". A bit eighties. I have to emphasise here that just because words are in the dictionary doesn't mean to say I use them on a regular basis. As far as I'm concerned it has a similar aura to "Bitchin'!". wobbler n fit. throwing a - throwing a fit. wobbly n Used in the same way as "wobbler". wonky adj not quite right. You might say "My plans for the evening went a bit wonky"; you would not say "I'm sorry to tell you, Mr. Jones, but your wife's cardiac operation has gone a bit wonky". The American English word "wonk" (an expert in some particular subject) is not used in the UK. woofter n homosexual. Yet another term for a homosexual, in case the Brits needed some more. wooly adj ill-defined; vague: "We gave up halfway through his presentation... it all seemed a bit wooly". wotcher interj howdy; hey there. A form of greeting, rather more familiar to Victorian schoolboys than anyone more contemporary. Harks back to a time when "cock" meant something like "mate", but nowadays marching into a bar and greeting someone with "wotcher, cock!" is unlikely to make you more popular.